Drunken Courage
by Airame Phantom
Summary: Danny just doesn't know what to do anymore. Sam and his daughter Alice would be better off without him. His life has no meaning anymore... [songfic, oneshot, contains suicidal stuff]


A/N: You were warned! This is way AU! I'm not promising perfect IC nor...a perfect happy ending. Heck, I HATE happy endings :(

Disclaimer: Danny and Sam do not belong to me! The song Dead Skin' belongs to CROSSFADE! One of the greatest bands ever to exist!**

* * *

**

Drunken Courage

* * *

**_67676_**

**_So I'm the king of all these things  
of this mess I have made  
Such a waste  
what a shame  
My whole life is a fake_**

**_67676_**

A young male, about twenty-nine or so, staggered down a darkened alleyway, grumbling to himself. In his hand, a half empty bottle of what looks like beer. The young male stumbles and nearly trips, finding himself falling into the wall, grasping at it with his hands, trying to keep himself up. "Shit!" the male shouts as the bottle slips from his hand slightly and some of the liquid splashes to the ground. The liquid from inside spread across the ground like thick, clear-colored blood.

The male runs a hand through his messy black hair and curses some more beneath his breath. He sighs, kicks at the puddle. The liquid splashing slightly, glistening for a split seconds in the dim light from the street lamps. He looks up at the sky.

He rubs at his eyes, brushing away past tears from his weariness. His mind was a turmoil of angry thoughts as he looked up at the sky.

It was so clear.

So...

"So the opposite of everything I am," he murmured.

His once gentle blue eyes cursed at the sky; his once goofy side grin now scowled in disgust. His hands turned to fists and he shouts an angry word towards the skies.

Taking a swig from the bottle still in his hand, he returns to staggering out of the alleyway as best he can.

He couldn't wait to get home. Sleep for hours. Then wake up and do it all over again. But he knew it wouldn't work like that. After all, Sam would get on his case just like she always did. She would yell at him of how he was setting a bad example for Alice, his daughter, and that she wouldn't always be around to pay for bills and everything.

And he would argue right back with a few telling points. That he needed an escape. That he couldn't help it. That he wished this weren't him. That he wished they could go back.

But she wouldn't believe him.

She never believed him now.

But their daughter, she would say. Alice was not old enough to comprehend anything of what was happening. She was only four. She didn't understand. All she would be able to comprehend was the fact that they were mad, angry at each other. And she would cry.

While Sam would try to console her, he would storm off.

He never told them where he would go. He never told anyone. Not even himself some times.

And then everything would fall apart all over again the next day or so. He would return, sober and with a terrible hang-over. Alice would be waiting for him, sitting quietly on the carpet in the living room, watching cartoons. She would smile. And he would smile right back at her and whisper friendly things as best he could with the massive headache throbbing in his head. And then the promising to change would start once Sam would reappear.

"Danny," she would say. "We need to talk."

"I'll be right back, okay, Ally?"

And they would walk away. Danny would put on a disguise. But soon, the craving would return. His anger would act up again, and he had to drown it out. He tried to change, he really did. But it was hard.

Especially when he was reminded, and constantly it happened, of what it was like to be him.

Especially ghost fighting. It had gotten hard. And every once in awhile, the ghosts would remind him of who he was. He was Danny Fenton/Phantom, hated by all: even his wife. It had all really hapened a long time before. He had been tricked by all the ghosts. Being himself, he'd been a little too friendly with them. He could have captured Technus easy, but he let him have a little fun.

But how could he have possibly known what was to come? He would have never guessed it...

Technus led him into the city, it's very center: the park. It was filled with kids all around, being Carnival Day. He'd been cocky because he was showing off to all those little kids who looked up to him. Even teenagers still looked up to him from when they were little kids.

One of those teenagers was Cassie Foley. Tucker had been visiting that day with a couple of family members. Cassie, now about fourteen or so, had been at the park for her little brother Mario's birthday.

She'd looked so happy to see Phantom again after so many years. He was fifteen the last she'd seen him. It had been 7 years.

That's when it happened. The ghosts appeared. All of them. Technus, Skulker, Ember, the Lunch Lady, even the Box Ghost. And he was ambushed. People began to run, to scream and hide and try to get away. But it was useless.

And Danny feared that he wouldn't be able to protect any of them if he didn't do something and quick. But because he didn't have time to think, he did the first thing that came to mind.

He'd spent a couple of years trying to perfect his Ghostly Wail, and he had most control. But some times it went haywire.

This was one of those times.

He'd started off just fine until something happened that made him lose control. The ghosts were wiped out, but a certain couple of screams had caught his ear. His Ghostly Wail ceased and dispersed. He captured all the ghosts, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight he was about to see.

A young girl, her dark skin layered with tiny cut marks like blades against flesh, lay huddled around someone else. A young boy by the name of Mario.

Danny couldn't believe the sight. Around them, others lay in fetal positions, their skin marked with tiny cuts like Cassie and her brother. And the people's faces...That was one thing he would never forget.

Their anger at the destroyed campus. Their anger at **____****him. **

**_67676_**

**_Well I'm a bore  
and I'm sure  
I'm a thorn inside of you  
that has torn at you for years_**

**_67676_**

But he hadn't had a choice in the matter...

It had happened against his control. He couldn't...take it back.

And that was what sent him sprawling into an empty abyss he would never be able to fill or understand. Since then, every time he fought a ghost it seemed he was only making things worst for Amity Park.

And Sam didn't understand. They'd been going out for years, and she couldn't comprehend his frustration.

But she still loved him unconditionally.

And he loved her back.

And soon, a year later, they were married. And then a year after that, Alice was born.

But even after that, everything began. Once Alice was only seven months old, Danny had already developed an addiction. Both to crystal meth, and to drinking alchoholic drinks. One day he visits a bar after a tough fight, and the next, he's out every morning and mysteriously back in bed the following morning.

And soon, Sam found out what was going on. And that started their first arguement. Danny Fenton and Sam Manson had their first REAL arguement since they were married. Some would say it was normal to have fights like that, but this got physical.

In a fit of rage, Danny's fisted hand thrust forward and to the side, but knowing himself too well, the male had opened his hand and slapped Sam's cheek with an open palm. It caused a loud clap that woke him from his waking trance. Sam, all of a sudden, appeared before him on the floor, pushed off balance by the blow, her hand on her cheek. Tears streaming down her cheek.

And Danny couldn't forgive himself. He'd never hit Sam before. Never even imagined himself doing so.

And that's when his addiction became more and more powerful. He had to get away. Get away from all of it. And this was the only thing that could help him do just that.

**_67676_**

**_The alcohol the demerol  
these things never could replace  
What a minute with you could do  
to put a smile on my face_**

**_67676_**

His addiction to meth became more powerful.

And though it drowned out his anger and frustration, it also brought back memories of what it had been like at the beginning with Sam. When they first started going out when they turned eighteen.

Their first date.

Their first all-nighter.

Their marriage.

And of course, the day Alice was born.

Alice Lilith Fenton. His little angel. His little girl. And all over again, he would feel just like back then.

The happiness.

The feeling of being carefree.

But no more.

But no more because life was a son of a bitch that never gave you a second chance when you truly needed it.

Because life just wasn't long enough when you needed an eternity to be with the one you love.

It wasn't fair.

But then again, life's never fair.

It's never fair because you don't always deserve it. And it just so happened to get tired of **_waiting_** for you to deserve it.

So it treats everyone the way they make it seem they should be treated.

Like dirt.

**_67676_**

**_I'm a bore  
and I'm sure  
I'm a thorn inside of you  
that has torn at me for years_**

**_67676_**

Danny staggered out to his block now. The lights from the lamp post buzzed and dimmed and brightened, keeping up this rhythm. Danny stops beneath a spot-light and takes another swig of his beer bottle. He hadn't been home since morning. He wondered if Alice and Sam were still awake.

He wondered if they would notice him come in at all.

But even more, he'd begun to wonder:

Did Sam still love him?

He'd never really thought about it 'til just now as he gazed towards the home he'd grown up in.

His home.

Their home.

Where Alice would grow up in too.

But Sam...what was she feeling?

Danny's eyes clouded slightly with thought.

_How did she feel...?_

**_67676_**

**_I can't get out of this dead skin  
I can't shed my skin  
I'm not sure where to begin  
I can't get under my dead skin  
I can't shed my skin  
Can I sleep 'til then_**

**_67676_**

Danny walks on, or rather staggers still. His legs feel so heavy beneath him. His head already begins to throb from what seemed like a very, very early hang over.

This was the first time he's actually felt this sick.

He took another swig of the bottle, noticing most of it was already gone. He grunts something beneath his breath as his thoughts continue.

From his right, a dog begins to bark loudly at his stumbling silhouette in the half-darkness. Danny knows it must be very late: maybe midnight or so.

This dog, reasonably named Jumping Bean, was always awake during the night. Why, he would never be able to figure out.

**_67676_**

**_Phenobarbital and alocohol  
these two surely will do  
To knock me out keep me down  
At least a day or two  
When I'm awake  
I can taste  
how bitter I've become  
And it's more than I can bear_**

**_67676_**

"Shut up!" Danny shouts and throws something at the dog, a rock seemingly. The dog whimpers and quiets down.

Danny, out of his fit of rage, calms down instantaneously. His headache grew more powerful. He just wanted to end this. To put himself and Alice and Sam out of all of this.

They'd be better off without him anyway. Without him in the way.

He didn't want Alice to grow-up with a father like him.

Irresponsible.

A drunkard.

Hopeless.

Hope was irrelevant in a life like this. It was fake and misleading. It only got you more false promises and more lies and pity. Those were something he didn't have time for.

But this was going to end soon, he rmeinded himself. Tonight.

Tonight he would leave this place.

Tonight, he would make sure everyone he ever loved was safe from his self-destruction.

He didn't want to hrut anyone else.

_No more hurt._

_Please._

Danny enters his home and closes the door behind him. Sam is curled up on the couch. Danny smiles fondly at the sleeping figure and turns to one side before grabbing the coat he'd forgotten to put on that morning. He lays it gently on top of Sam's shivering form, and watches as she clutches the coat in her hand sub-consciously and gets comfortable. He kisses her forehead gently, stares at her for a second, brushing away a couple of locks of raven hair. He smiles softly again, then turns and leaves up the stairs and into the bedroom.

He pulls the door to a slight close behind him. It closes alright, but not fully. The lock always seemed to fail on him. He looks around at everything.

This was where his whole life was brought to peace every night. At least when they didn't argue. He could sleep and dream as if everything was okay. And everything would be okay while he slept.

Some times, he would pretend to be asleep when Sam awoke. At first, she would be shocked and angry to see him lying there next to her. But after waiting a couple of minutes of feigned sleep, Danny would notice that somehow, she still loved him. He thought so, anyway. Because once, when he didn't feign sleep, he'd awakened to breakfast on the countertop and a Sam staring idly his way.

But it was rare when the girl would even look at him square in the eye. And when Danny managed to get a glimpse at her eyes, he'd see only misery and sadness. Along with that, what hurt him most, a type of longing to be happy again.

It tore him to pieces.

For his heart could break no more than it had already.

**_67676_**

**_Somedays  
I pray someone will blow me away  
Make it quick  
but let it buuuuuurn  
so I can feel my life fade  
Well I'm a waste  
and I can taste  
how bitter I've become  
And it's more than I can bear_**

**_67676_**

Danny's thoughts were interrupted as a cold switch was turned on the air that amde him shiver and be able to see his own breath. A blue tint in the wisp of mist that escaped his lips told him that it was a ghost.

He turned towards where the cold spot seemed to be greater and found before him, two white figures.

Two girls. Both were dressed all in white. One was about four, the other about sixteen. They both had white dresses and long, gold-white hair. But what caught Danny the most were their eyes.

Empty eyes the color of ivory.

They held no feeling.

No emotion that he could comprehend.

Especially the older one. The young one still had mischief in her smile. But the older one...

She looked so seriously ominous, it sent more shivers down his spine.

Then she smiles a very sinister kind of smile that made him take a hesitant step back.

"Who are you?" he asked in his clearest voice, which was still hoarse and deep.

"I am Misery," said the oldest. Her voice was just as sinister as her smile, holding a knowing tone. "And my sister, Mischief. And you are Daniel James Fenton."

"I know who I am," Danny retorted.

"Or do you?" asked Misery in a humorous tone. Her sisted grinned. Misery grew serious again. "This is not a laughing matter, Sister, we must be serious."

The young girl frowned and pursed her lips. But Misery would not take her eyes off Danny's and Danny stared right back.

"His eyes, Sister," said Mischief. "They're talking...You don't want to continue, do you, Danny?" Her voice was small, humorous, laughing and taunting him.

Danny tensed.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"To warn you," Misery said. "To remind you: suicide does not get you into Paradise."

"Paradise?" he asked.

"Heaven, the Other World, whatever you want to call it," Misery said.

Misery sighs.

"Your aura is blue..." she murmurs quietly, her eyes scanning his weary face. She smiles. "Physically, Danny, you're an adult but inside...you're just a crying child..."

"Let him, sister," Mischief chimed childishly, tugging at her sister's dress. "I'd love to watch."

Misery ignored her sisted and smiled softly, thinly. Then Danny noticed her cheeks flush and her eyes grow tired and pleading. This only set him on the edge.

_"Don't do this..."_

**_67676_**

**_I can't get out of this dead skin  
I can't shed my skin  
I'm not sure where to begin  
Why can't I begin again?  
I can't get under my dead skin  
I can't shed my skin  
Can I sleep 'til then_**

**_67676_**

Danny cast aside his gaze, forcing his eyes away from the two girls. His fists tightened, his knuckles white. "I can't do this anymore," he whispered. "I just can't go on like this..."

Misery bit her lip and nodded, lowering her gaze. She took a step back and said, "May they take pity on your soul, Daniel Fenton. Choose well."

Mischief grinned at the boy. Misery nudged the young one, and Mischief glared at her before looking back at Danny, bowing, and clasping both hands together. She closed her eyes. "May they take pity on you," she murmured. She opened one eye and grinned at him. Then, she straightened and also took a step back with her sister, and they both faded from view.

Danny, regaining his ability to walk, stalked his way to the _en suite _bathroom as best he could.

He didn't bother with the door.

**_67676_**

**_I can't shed my skin  
I can't shed my skin_**

**_67676_**

Danny walked inside and immediately emptied out the bottle of beer still in one of his hands into the sink. He turned the water key of the faucet. He plugged the drained with a rubber-stopper and leaned against the edges of the sink. He sighed and looked up.

The reflection of himself in the mirror only sent a cold sensation over his entire body.

Blue eyes stared back at him: tired and weary, ready to give up. The bag beneath those eyes only added to the fact that he hadn't gotten almost any sleep at all these last few days. His hair was ruffled and messy and longish, hanging over those eyes that seemed so emotionless now.

His gaze was forced away, for those eyes seemed to bore right through him like a blade of sadness. With a blind hand, he opened the medicinal cabinet, not able to look into that mirror again. From the medicinal cabinet, he took out a small towel. Wrapping it around the glass beer bottle, he smashed it down on the side of the sink. The cracking sound was muffled.

He spread the glass covered towel over the counter and picked up one of the larger pieces. He looks at the sink and turned off the water, for it was now full enough. He gazes into the clear water, it seeming to him like a screen for all these faces.

Alice.

Sam.

His Parents and sister.

Tucker.

Danny takes the piece of glass and uses the glass to slice the inside of his wrist quickly. The pain seared up through his whole arm, making him gasp. His teeth clenched and, forcing his eyes open again, switches hands and using his left now to slice the right wrist open as well. Then, sticking both his bleeding wrists into the water, stares squinted-eyed as the precious red mercury swirls from his wrists.

Both hands now in the sink of water, bleed endlessly as Danny feels the energy drain from him ever slowly.

The water becomes red with clouds of blood and swivels and threads of red until it's completely red. But before he realizes it, a numb feeling overcomes his senses.

In the other room however, young Alice had awakened. Something, she didn't know what, made her bolt straight up and go into her parents' room. The young, black-haired, blue-eyed girl looked around the darkness of the room, and wandered around for a seocnd, looking for her mother and father.

Until she heard a thud coming from the bathroom.

She wandered inside and gasped, her eyes wide with fear. "DADDY!"

The young one rushes out the room and down the stairs at lightning speed, only one thing on her mind: scream as loud and for as long as you can!

"DADDY! MOMMY, DADDY'S HURT! DADDY! MOMMY!" she shouts as she stumbles around in the darkness of the living room to where a sleeping figure awaits groggily.

Sam, shaken awake by Alice, now stands up to her and clambers with sleepy senses up the stairs. "Mommy! Daddy's hurt! Daddy's hurt!" Alice cries.

Sam grabs Alice by the shoulders. "Where is he?" she asks.

"Upstairs!" Alice shouts, pointing.

She stumbles into the bathroom and quickly rushes to Danny's side. He lies slumped against the wall. "Danny!" Sam shrieks and she kneels down next to him. His wrists are slit open, the blood smearing his palms and fingers and some of the wall. She grabs hold of him, pulling him up onto her lap. "Danny, come on!" she shouts, slapping his cheeks. He's pale. Deathly pale. "Alice! Grab the phone! Dial 9-1-1! Hurry!"

Alice nods and rushes back down the stairs.

The rest of the night is a blur of white and the sounds of shouts, sirens, and questions. Alice doesn't cry. She just waits. She doesn't understand what is happening. She doesn't understand the questions, the answers, the words. All she knows is that Daddy is hurt, and he needs help.

So now she sits by his side as the sound of the heart monitor beeps ever slowly behind her. She stares through half-opened eyes at her father. Her hero.

His hands are bandaged at the wrists and stained with blood slightly. But she doesn't care. She will never let go of his hand until he says something and tells her he'll be okay. Until he opens his eyes and tells her that he loves her again.

Alice finds a short sob escape her throat as she thinks this. Her blue eyes swell with oncomming tears.

She gets down from the chair she's sitting in, still holding her father's hand. Kneeling down next to the bed and propping both elbows onto the mattress, she sets her forehead onto Danny's hand.

"Please, daddy..." she whispers. "Please wake up..."

Her voice chokes, and she strains to get the rest of her words out.

_"Please wake up!" _

**_67676_**

**_I can't get out of this dead skin  
I'm not sure where to begin  
I can't get under my dead skin  
Can I sleep 'til then_**

**_67676_**

"Alice..." comes a whisper. The voice is soft, gentle, but deep and weary. Eyes open, but he can't see anything but a blurry kind of white mixed with cubes of tiny pixels of different colors: blue, gray.

Blue eyes blink and he whispers again, "Alice..."

He turns his head to one side and his vision finally becomes clear. He blinks again. A small child, her face in her arms, sobs delicately. He cold feel her tears on the palm of his hand and her hand in his own. "Alice," he says again, gripping her hand now. He finds that he has almost no strength. But the sound of a cardiac monitor also alerts him to the fact that A) he's at a hospital. and B) he's alive.

"Daddy?" Alice sobs, her voice fragile, lifting her head and wiping the tears from her eyes with the hand that's not gripping Danny's own in a death grip. He tries his best to smile, but it fails.

"How did I get here?" he asks.

"I found you," Alice replies quietly. "And mommy said to call 9-1-1."

"How did you find me?" Danny asks.

Alice frowns. She didn't quite remember before, but now that she thought about it...

"There was a pretty lady in white in my room..."

"Danny?" comes another familiar voice, cutting off whatever Danny was about to say to that. He looks up and comes to lock eyes with a very worried, very sad-looking Samantha Manson. "Danny!" She shrieks at rushes towards him, hugging him tightly.

"Sam...can't...breathe..." he weezes out. Alice sniffles and smiles.

"Oh, god, Danny, don't ever scare me like that. I was afraid...I might lose you..." Sam says.

She lets go and pulls back from him. Her violet eyes scan his face.

"You...were worried?" he asked.

"Of coruse," Sam whispers, sniffling herself. Only now does Danny notice the slight redness of her eyes. She'd been crying. "Of coruse I would."

"I love you," Danny says.

Sam, surprised to hear that again after so long, can't help but smile and can't help but stare him straight in the eye.

"I love you too," she says.

"And me too," Alice chimes, knowing this is a happy moment.

Danny smiles and his eyes begin to droop again. He bretahes deeply.

"You should rest," Sam says. "You lost a lot of blood, after all. Gotta take it easy."

"I'm sorry..." Danny whispers, and closes his eyes.

Sam says nothing. Danny drifts off again into a dream of, at last, something he could really treasure.

Life has its ups and downs, he guessed, as he fell deeper into a well-deserved sleep.

But it feels so good...

...to finally get some well deserved _**rest**_ from it all...

**_67676_**

**_I can't get out of this dead skin  
I can't shed my skin  
I'm not sure where to begin  
Why can't I begin again?  
I can't get under my dead skin  
I can't shed my skin  
Can I sleep 'til then_**

**_67676_**

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Disclaimer (-c-): Alice Lilith Fenton, Misery, and Mischief all belong to me!

E/N: 0.o wow...the debut of Misery and Mischief. Morathi really is trying to make me seem like some sort of psychopath. And, I introduce you all to Umed! My newest muse! He's the muse of inspiration, hope, and emotion. :D  
Umed: Hello everyone. And good day!  
me: Man, I hate the ending...

--Airamé Phantom


End file.
